Are you hiding your truth for fear of disappointing others? It’s time to speak your truth wisely, kindly, thoughtfully, and respectfully as Elizabeth Barry leads you to the path towards self-discovery and self-worth. In this episode, Elizabeth affirms that you can be direct and kind at the same time. Using the power of breathing, she teaches you how you can own up to who you are and step into your power. You don’t have to hold back and make yourself feel small just to please others. Join this empowering discussion to get inspired to speak up for your worth and more.
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Speak Up For Your Worth
You Can Be Direct And Kind
I am excited to talk to you about speaking up for your worth. Many of us desire to have a new position. Many of us desire to tell our loving partner what we need, what intimacy we’re yearning for. Many of us want a new job, new car, new something, whatever that something is but yet, we’re all like Ariel. We’re all stuck in that place where we know what we want to say, but when the words start to come out, we get a little sweaty, we get a little fearful. We hold ourselves back from speaking our truth. Why is that? Why do we allow our fears to hinder us from our success? Why do we let our ego keep us held back from happiness and joy in the present moment that we have this beautiful breath on this life?
This episode is going to tell you how you can speak up for your worth. I’m a communication advocate. I am a business coach and a marketing consultant. I build hundreds of brands. I work with leaders every single day on speaking up to create confidence, to find personal happiness in their second half of life, to find love and to transition jobs, to move from New Jersey to a nice place in Florida or whatever your goals may be. When you work with me, we get to that place of breaking through. As Jim Morrison said, “Break on through.” For some silly reason, we hold ourselves back from communicating our self-worth. We hold ourselves back from sharing our truth. What is our truth? Our truth is our innermost feelings and emotions that live inside of us.
Those things are sometimes hard to share with other people because they’re delicate. Our voice is delicate. Our breath becomes a voice. Our breath has a voice and that’s where the problems lie. That’s where we have messed up in our past. We let our past, triggers or mistakes mess us up. They remind us, “We messed up in the past.” We were reactive, “Don’t say that again because you’re going to mess up.” That’s the ego forcing you to stay still and not to transform. Those past mistakes can be fixed when you do the work. When you put in the work to be activating your positive behaviors, when you know that you’ve messed up, when you have your vulnerability at hand to say, “I am filled with human consciousness to have done right and have done wrong. I’m okay with that. I’m going to push myself forward.”
Many of us can’t be direct and kind because we’ve messed up in the past. We’ve yelled at people. We were defensive. We didn’t take constructive criticism well. That holds us back from sharing our truth again because we have that inner fear that lives in our subconscious mind that says, “You didn’t do that well last time.” On the other hand, we hold ourselves back because we are fearful of our own light. We’re fearful of getting to the bottom of the questions that we want answered. We’re fearful of sharing our truth with someone else because we’re too scared of how they’re going to react. This can happen.
I am The Kind Communicator. I’ve built the brand, Beyond Ego, telling, sharing and inviting everyone who wants personal and professional transformation to go beyond the ego, to go beyond who you think you ought to be and step into your authenticity, ingenuity, originality. The Kindness Innovation says that you can be direct and be kind. It’s not about being nice. Being nice is a pushover. Being kind is wonderful. Matching that kindness with directness is where you’re going to earn respect in your life, your relationships, your job, and in your reflection in the mirror. Speak up for your worth.
I’ll ask you now, what is it that holds you back from your success? What holds back your words? Most of us say fear. I’m going to ask you, what is it that you’re scared of? Honestly, truthfully, what are you scared of? Are you scared of finding out the truth? Are you scared of finding out the real answers to what you want to know? If you want to have the answers, you have to go after them. Speaking out for your worth is respecting yourself enough to make powerful decisions. It’s having the hard conversations. It’s letting go of unhealthy relationships. It’s changing jobs when you’re not passionate about what you do anymore or about the people that you work with. It’s stopping those cyclical patterns that keep repeating and breaking your soul down every time. It’s leaving a love affair that is no longer serving you. It’s walking away from unhealthy relationships, family, friendships that you don’t want to be in anymore. They don’t make you feel good. It’s creating those healthy boundaries with people and situations. It’s learning how to be unbothered by people who are addicted to drama.
Breath has a voice. Speaking up for your worth gives your breath a voice. Everything that you say is a reflection of who you are on the inside. If you‘re not saying it, that means that you’re lacking on the inside. What are you lacking? Are you lacking self-worth? Are you lacking the courage to say and speak what is calling you? When you begin to speak up for your worth, when you recognize the strengths that you never knew you had, you start to become one with who you are. You start to like yourself a little bit more. Being direct and kind gives you this likeability, this magnetism, this optimism of life where you become a magnet where people are attracted. There’s a respect earned with that. Your deepest beliefs are reflective upon your behaviors. When you learn to speak up for what you’re worth and when you learn that you can be direct and kind, you’re a respected person. You have grace and poise. You’re a leader.
Your Worth: Matching kindness with directness is where you’re going to earn respect in your life, your relationships, your job, and in your reflection in the mirror. Speak up for your worth.
Some of the tips that I can give you to do that are found in one of my books. It’s called Design Your Mind to Be Kind. I love that book. It has many pages of wisdom in there based on nature and three tips to having healthy and effective communication, catch yourself, fly above and speak your truth. If you don’t have the book, you can go to TheKindCommunicator.com and click on Books. Get that book. Buy the whole Self-Love package. Those three things, catch yourself, fly above, and speak your truth will help you be direct and kind. Those three habits of effective communicators will help you speak up for your worth. How do you do that?
Catch yourself means that you catch yourself from holding yourself back. In any situation where someone asks if you have a question and you hold yourself back even though you do have a question, why are you doing that? Catch yourself in the moment. Take a breath. Raise your hand and speak up. Catching yourself also allows you to take a breath in the place of poor behavior, words or reactions that you may have done in your past, but you don’t have to continue doing in the future.
The second habit of effective communicators is to fly above yourself in the moment, in an imaginary sense of course. Be like a bird. Be like a robin in spring. Fly above yourself and see, “I’m experiencing this situation from this heightened approach, this heightened view, this beautiful view from above. I can see that you’re courageous enough to say what you need to say.” Why are you holding it back? Fly above yourself and see that in space and time. With breath and a pause, you can give yourself room to speak your truth. That’s the third habit, speak your truth. Use your words wisely. That’s both interior and exterior truth.
What you say on the inside of your mind is called mind chatter. It could be stories. It could be BS stories. It could be something that you’re telling yourself that the ego is forcing you to believe, “You can’t speak up. You’re not good enough to speak up. You’re not smart enough to speak up. Keep silent.” That’s a false truth of the ego. Use your words wisely on the internal mind chatter. Tell yourself that you’re good enough to speak up. You’re courageous and brave enough to have the answers and to ask for the answers. Speaking your truth externally is positively using your voice with positive behaviors to get to the heart of the matter.
We make conversations and hard conversations, and we make them complex. We have to start to generate simplicity and strip away the complexity. The complexity is that we want to know something. We want to have an answer. We want to share something with the world and yet we hide ourselves. We keep ourselves from asking the hard questions. Having those hard conversations, we suffer on purpose. Why not share? Why not create healing for those internal wounds that told you not to speak up in your past? Who did that to you? Where did that come from? Is that something that your ego placed on you? Is that something that someone else forcefully or willingly placed upon your belief systems? That’s a deterioration of the body, mind and spirit. Our immune system is asking us to be healthy, alive and free. It’s asking us to live in harmony with our words and our breath. You can improve your immune system when you control your breath and control your healthy behavior and words. This all comes from healing on the inside and out.
When we looked to speak our truth and speak up for our worth, we think, “We have to be a good person. We have to speak in the right ways. We have to use the right tone of voice.” We have to add all of these elements. It’s like opening up your spice cabinet and adding every single spice in the cabinet to your meal. That’s too much. Many of us focus on what we need to put in, but it needs a healthy balance. We need to also focus on what we need to keep out. We need to have a healthy balance. Yin and yang. What bad habits can we get rid of? Can we stop? What fluff words and phrases do you need to keep out? What reactions without thinking do you need to stop yourself from doing? What are the daily rituals that you can work on? Replace some poor habits with kinder habits that allow your breath that pause, that motivation to give you so that you can speak up for your worth. Your energy precedes you and your legacy follows.
Dear On Beyonders, being direct and kind is a masterful art form. When they work, they work. You don’t have to succumb to imposter syndrome anymore. You don’t have to believe the stories that you tell yourself. You can throw that measuring stick out into the ocean. The negative mind chatter that relates to stress in the body creates reactions and excuses. It forces you to not trust yourself. It makes you compare yourself to other people. For what, to suffer on purpose? Your self-worth is counting on you to speak up for who you are. Who are you? What do you believe in? What do you wish to say? What do you think that you are worth?
How do you get to the place where you can speak your truth wisely, kindly, thoughtfully, respectfully? One of the ways you can do that is to shush yourself. We don’t have to be speaking all of the time. We don’t have to have all of the answers. One of the habits in Design Your Mind to Be Kind is to shush yourself. I love the art of the shush. That habit is helpful in two ways because it allows you to speak up for your worth. One, the external. If you don’t shush yourself, you could be talking over people. That’s not being direct and kind. That‘s being aggressive. The external habit of flying above yourself and asking yourself, “Are you talking over people? Are you interrupting them? Are you finding it hard to be direct because you’re too aggressive?”
Instead of being assertive and having pauses and breath before you speak and allowing others to be heard, seen and felt, maybe you need to work on your emotional intelligence, awareness, space, time, people, and relationships. Slow down and breathe. Believe in yourself and your words. Don’t let the words come out before the mind has a chance to process, formulate and organize everything that you desire to say. When you do that, when you focus, when you organize, when you formulate a plan to desire, share and live in your truth, the message sent becomes the message received. That shush of the external is a wonderful habit to practice.
The shush on the internal for not speaking up for your worth is a habit that is caused by the creation of way too many assumptions. There are way too many assumptions that live up inside of that head of yours. The mind has over 60,000 thoughts per day. It’s powerful. The mind makes meaning to things that can be eternal and then you believe them. The internal mind chatter cycles. How do you get out of this habit? You get curious. You ask questions. You speak up for your worth. If you want to speak up for your worth, ask questions. When you don’t get the answers that you need or if you’re still unclear, ask more questions. Other people don’t have the work that you might be receiving on this show or through my coaching or my books. When you ask them a question and get curious and actively do the work that I’m telling you to do right here on this show, they might not be clear. They might not have communication tools.
If you’re aware and present and slowing down, if you’re in a pause state of balance, that equanimity, you can know, “That didn’t clear it up.” Ask another question, then ask and ask. Take a breath and keep asking. Get clearer and clearer so that you know what the answers are. That’s what it means to speak up for your worth. That’s what it means to step out of imposter syndrome. That’s what it means to know who you are. It’s a heck of a way to live. It brings you to a world-class communicator status. It all begins with breath. If you do get Design Your Mind to Be Kind or if you do have the book, let me know how you like it. The beginning of the book talks about two things. It talks about breathing and smiling. Those are two free habits that we can have. It doesn’t cost us anything. We naturally do it. Lots of muscles in our mouth turn up the edges so that we smile, and joy appears on the outside from the inside. The breath allows us to breathe. The oxygen of life helps you to speak up beyond the hallucinations of the ego. Everything begins with breath.
I asked you to reconnect to your higher nature and ask yourself, what are you scared of for not speaking up for your worth, for asking for that raise, to talk to your partner about those hard conversations? Maybe it’s about intimacy, money, finances. They’re hard. I understand this. I’ve done this myself. I’ve done this work that I teach you every single day. You have to learn how to turn down the voice of the ego. This allows you to have the space and the time to find out who you are. Use the language of possibility and optimism. Use the behaviors that you earn. Respect the voice you wish to have. If you’re addicted to distraction, you’re going to be rushing around this life. The messages and the lessons are going to be unintelligible because you’re going too fast. You’re missing all the opportunities right in front of you because you’re distracted. You’re on your phone and you’re not listening or you’re listening to only respond.
Going back to that shush, internally and externally, are you talking over people? Are you an interrupter? Are you the person that focuses on the internal mind chatter, holding yourself back from sharing your beauty with the world through the breath with a voice? I’m going to ask you to make progress with possibility and positivity and become legendary in your own personal development practice. You’re making history with yourself as a brave and courageous person, strong enough to speak up for who you are, for what you believe in with optimism, grace and focus. Focus is much more important than intelligence. Believe that you can wow yourself with your own voice and speak up for your worth. It’s all within you and I believe in you.
If you need some help, don’t feel pressured to handle it all like Atlas holding the world on the weight of his shoulders. Don’t do that. Don’t hold it in. Reach out to me, raise your hand and ask for help. I’m an executive coach. I’m a marketing consultant. If you’re an entrepreneur struggling, if you are a professional struggling in your career or with the people that you’re working with, or if you’re just a person looking for transformation on how to communicate better and clearer in life, go to TheKindCommunicator.com. Click on any one of those buttons that say to contact me and let’s set up a calendar invite. We can even make it a martini date, coffee date, whatever you want to drink date as long as you put it on the calendar and say yes to yourself. Investing in yourself brings many returns. The meaning of investment is you’re going to receive some things. Raise your hand and ask for help. If you’re willing to do this work, it’s going to give you the rewards of a lifetime. Speak up. I love you, guys.
Design Your Mind To Be Kind: Featuring the Habits of Effective Communicators and Personalities to Embody Your Highest Self
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